I have the terrible urge to buy stuff. Stuff for the baby, stuff for Bexx, stuff for me and just stuff. It must be the instinct for the male of the species to provide for his offspring kicking in.
I am Man, hear me enter my PIN.
I mustn’t give in to the urge too often because we really have to watch the pennies at the moment, what with hoping to move house before the spawn makes its appearance. Of course the house move also means it’s not a good idea to clutter the place up with stuff that just becomes more things to pack.
Also, being realistic, it’s still very early days and it’s still a very real possibility that this little bean won’t stick.
Maybe when we hit the magic twelve weeks I’ll be a bit more relaxed about splashing the cash on baby paraphernalia.

Having said all that, we’ve started a ‘bottom drawer’ box which is becoming populated with a few little things for the baby.
Bexx has already blogged about the iCandy buggy and the MaxiCosi car seat we bought from eBay in a moment of weakness (they were bargains though.)
Anyway. Today for the box we bought a little blankie. It’s got a giraffe on it and it’s soft and snuggly. Hardly a priority purchase we know, but it’s one less thing to buy later on and one more thing that makes this whole experience just that little bit more real to us.
The box now also contains some babygrows we got on sale from Asda last week, (£4 for seven! Bargain!) a very nice maternity top from Mamas & Papas and a little top for the baby. The top turned out to be a learning experience about sizes and will be far too big for a newborn but no matter, one thing that babies can be trusted to do is g-r-o-w!
Any stuff we buy pre-knowing the gender is going to be either yellow, or as neutral as possible and personally, I’d like to avoid the whole blue-for-boys / pink-for-girls thing even when we do know the gender. In fact I’d like to avoid the whole gender stereotype reinforcement thing altogether. If my little boy wants a ‘my first kitchen’ playset or my little girl wants a Thomas the Tank Engine train set, that’s fine by me. Let them play with what engages their interest, I say.

We’ve also bought some non-underwired bras for Bexx because she’s rather tender in the boobicle regions to say the least and has already pretty much outgrown all her usual bras.
Honestly, the trouble we had finding non-underwired bras in large cups sized but with small backs you would not believe. But finally we found a two-pack (one black, one flesh) in 32E in Debenhams Department Store in the town centre. Bexx didn’t try them on in the shop (she hates doing that, and I can’t say I blame her) but once home they fitted snugly, possibly toosnugly. It won’t be long before she has to upsize again!

One last thing I which I bought today.
Earlier we were in B&Q (a hardware superstore) and we just happened to notice some ‘Baby on Board’ signs on a rack. Now personally, I hate seeing the things in the back of cars. I can’t see the point. “Oh I was going to ram your car from behind, but now that I see you’ve got a baby on board I’ll pick on someone else instead. Maybe they only have a worthless adult in their car and won’t mind me ramming them”
Anyway, I digress. Baby on Board signs are pretty ubiquitous, you see them everywhere, everyone knows what they look like. So we thought it might be quite fun to have a maternity tee with the sign on the ‘bump’ so as soon as I got home I made it so and ordered one.
Groovy, no?

No not the cheesy feel-good movie about nature v nurture staring Arnold Wotzisknockers and Danny DeVito, I’m talking about the very real possiblitiy that the new life, the little bundle of rapidly differentiating cells growing inside my lovely Missus is not a bean but beans. Plural.

It’s a possibility that only occured to me a couple of days ago but has really got me thinking. Twins would mean we’d have to come up with two names. One is hard enough (see my previous post)  but two? Oh dear. What if they’re both boys? Two boy’s names? Nightmare.

Of course, with twins, the names are the least of the worries. Poor Bexx is only five foot one and very petite, carrying  one baby is going to be a real trial for her let alone two and then there’s the birth, having to force two little squirming bodies out of her Super Special Sphincter would be no walk in the park.

Later of course there’s having to have two of everything. Luckily Bexx has two boobs so feeding then should be too much of problem but we’ll also need to double up up cots, car seats, clothes, toys… well you get the picture, the list is endless.

Would we dress them alike? If they’re identical twins would we be able to tell them apart? How do you avoid favouritism?

Twins. Oh my. It would be fantastic if it were, but I just  hope we could cope!  I guess we’ll know in about seven or eight weeks when we have our first scan!

Although it’s very much early days, we’ve been talking about names.
We both want a name that’s a little unusual. but not in a Spudulicca or Frogmella ‘it’s exotic’ kind of way, we just want a name that’s just a little less than common. We don’t want our child to be in a class at school with half a dozen kids with the same name but at the same time we don’t want his or her name to be so freaky that it gets them picked upon.
Girls names are easy. There are possibly six or eight names I like and the same for Bexx with maybe four or five overlapping. We both want Elizabeth as a middle name because it’s my Mum’s name and Bexx’s Mum’s middle name. We both like grace too, but it’s becoming increasingly common at the moment so we’re not so sure anymore and the same goes for Rose or Rosie which was always the name I’ve had earmarked for years for my first little girl. Having a pet Parrot a few years ago called Rosie put paid to that though.
The name we’re both gravitating toward is ‘Temperance’. It’s unusual but not freaky, it works as both a child’s name and also sounds classy on an adult. It has a cute short version in ‘Tempy.’
Much as I want our little bean to be a girl though, I have a feeling it’s going to be a boy and we’re having real trouble trying to think of a boys name we both like.
Boy’s names are a lot harder to get right because there’s a lot more to consider. It has to sound right for a child but also work for an adult. It has to be masculine but not macho and has to be as ‘bully’s nickname’-proof as possible. I quite like the name Gabriel, but I wouldn’t want my son to have to go through school being called gay for short!
Of course both have to avoid names that remind us of people in our past that we’d rather forget and we can’t give him the same name as another family member or friend without looking like we’re naming our child after them!
Personally I also dislike obvious Celtic names for anyone who isn’t actually from Ireland. I don’t know why. So that’s Connor, Reece, Callum etc out of the running.
I dislike what I think of as ’standard’ names too. John for example. I always think that it sounds like the parents couldn’t think of a name so they went with the default. It’s like calling a dog Rex or a parrot Polly.
Honestly we’re at a bit of a loss for a boys name, let’s hope it’s a girl!

At 5:30am this morning, I awoke to find the strangest of sensations in my abdomen. It’s kind of hard to describe, but the best I can say is it was like lots of little tuggy twinges.

All weekend I’d had a surreal feeling that this was going to be the month it happens. My boobs have still been hurting like hell and I’ve been really tired the last couple of days. I know, it’s only my second cycle of trying (and only my first doing it properly!), but the feeling of hope was incredibly strong. While I wasn’t absolutely certain I was pregnant, I was more sure than doubtful.

I got up for a pee and decided to do a test. A few moments later, in the not-so-soft glow of the bathroom lighting, a very faint pink line began to emerge.

I didn’t want to wake Nobby, and I still didn’t believe it myself, so I trotted back to bed. At 9:30am, he awoke and I groggily asked him to nip to Sainsburys and grab me a First Response Early Result test.

Half an hour later, I checked my temperature and was disappointed to find it had gone down 0.2 degrees. However, I’d checked earlier than my usual time so decided to go back to sleep for an hour and check it again. At 11am, my normal temp-checking time, I was mightily relieved to see it was back up to 36.97C.

It was now the moment of truth. Nobby had returned with the requested hardware and I dashed off to the bathroom with fingers and toes crossed. 3 minutes have never passed so slowly, but suddenly there it was. One pregnancy test strip with two solid pink lines proudly displayed in the result window.

Cue me running around the house with the biggest grin I’ve ever had plastered to my face.

I’m pregnant.

Saying and writing it feels so weird. Now I just hope our little bean truly is a sticky one.

Some kind of exhaustion has hit me. I feel like I’m about to go into hibernation, or perhaps a coma. I’m supposed to be getting on with decorating the house, but instead I’m sat here on the sofa not wanting to move. The housework hasn’t been done for several days, and I’ve ordered takeaway pizza three times this week.

Is this the infamous 1st trimester tiredness? If so, how the heck am I going to get anything done over the next three months? The place is going to become a tip!

To add to the fun, since yesterday my boobs are on sensory overload. They’ve been tender since ovulation, but now it feels like someone’s kicked the shit out of them. I felt a little worried this morning as they weren’t quite as sore and my temp dipped slightly, but they’re not back to “normal” sensitivity yet.

Of course, I may not even be pregnant, in which case I’ve got no excuse for being such a lazy cow. I did a test yesterday which came out negative. Not really surprising as I’m only 9DPO today, but I couldn’t resist all the same. The girls over on the Baby & Bump forums have managed to rein me in today, and I’ve promised not to test again until Monday. Oh, but it’s so bloody tempting!

I Will Not Test. I Will Not Test. I Will Not Test………

Ahh…. the wonderful two week wait is upon me again. Just as last month, I am paying obsessive attention to every little twinge my body makes in the hope that I will stumble upon a new sensation, craving or mood-swing. I will then cross-reference it with the previous month’s notes, no doubt only to find that I have in fact experienced it before. Bahhh!

Today I had good old uterine cramps. Now I get these like clockwork just before and during my period, but I’m not familiar with them post-ovulation. On checking last month’s records, I see I had an episode of cramping at around the same time, but it was quite painful and I had to stop vacuuming and have a sit-down. By comparison, these ones were quite mild. Who knows if it really means anything, but I still hang on to the hope that it does.

Talking of cramps, I don’t know if this makes me a bit weird, but I kinda like them. They’re like trusty old friends, always showing up a few days before a period, diligently reminding me to check my stocks of Bodyform and Tampax so I don’t get caught unaware on P-Day. I’m reassured that my body is behaving normally, even if I do feel like strangling someone as a wave of pain rushes down my abdomen.

I’m also feeling really snappy today and a little bit depressed. That might be more to do with the vertigo being back however. I’m starting to suspect the Pregnacare tablets, but I don’t have any folic acid supplements in the house so I’ll have to keep taking them until I go shopping on Monday. It’s not as severe as it was, but my head feels heavy and things start spinning if I lie suddenly on my back. I’ve begun eating lots of potassium-rich foods again as this seemed to clear it up last week.

On the positive side, I ordered myself some exotic natural perfume a few days ago and it arrived this morning. It’s amazing how the power of smell can make you feel so much better.

So I decided to finish my clindamycin course a day early because I noticed my cervical mucous was egg-white and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna miss my fertile window again this month. Besides, I took the metronidazole for a day and a half, so I can sort of count that as well, right?

My vertigo is still there, but only when I bend forward or lie on my back and face my left side. I’m really hoping it’s reaching the end of its course, cause I’m thoroughly sick of rolling over in bed and setting it off in my sleep. It’s not the most pleasant way to wake up, I can assure you.

Anyway, I’m now glued to my “Day-By-Day Pregnancy Book” which is my bible and gives me a daily rundown of foetal development and such right from Day One. Obviously there is no foetus to speak of at this stage, but there are some cute pictures of ovaries and eggs and the uterine lining etc. All terribly fascinating.

I also have the classic “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” which is a lot more detailed, but doesn’t have pretty pics. I like pics, I desire lots of visual information. Too much text makes me think I’m back at school.

We went to pick up the car seat and base we won on eBay this afternoon. It was a bloody good price at £65, though we were a little disappointed as the listing stated the base was isofix compatible and turns out it’s not. No biggie, it will attach using the seatbelt instead. I decided to install it in the car even though we don’t have a baby yet, then we can cheekily park in the mother and child spaces when we go shopping.

Last week, being the terribly impulsive and impatient buyer I am, I bought a buggy off eBay. Now I know this blog is merely a few days old, but I’m sure you’ve figured out by now that I’m not actually pregnant yet.

I bought it because it’s a very nice buggy and, well, it was a bargain! It’s an iCandy Apple with the carrycot and everything. Just like this:

I assumed that Henry was included, along with the washing-up bowl and attractive (if slightly grubby) blue plant pot, but sadly I was disappointed. I do wish people would more accurately describe what they’re selling in the listing….

According to superstition, it’s very bad luck to buy kit like this even in early pregnancy, let alone when you’re just trying to conceive. So I’m really hoping I haven’t jinxed things before I’ve even started. I can’t even hide the thing in the loft as it’s pretty bulky and Nobby looks none too pleased about trying to stuff it up there whilst precariously balancing on the knackered stepladder he bought 15+ years ago. So it’s been unceremoniously hidden behind the rocking chair in the dining room where it still manages to catch my eye every time I walk past. Poor, lonely buggy….

Anyway, you’d think I’d have learnt my lesson when it comes to buying baby stuff. Well unfortunately, you’d be wrong. See, my shiny (used) buggy is technically a travel system, but it didn’t come with the car seat.

Can you see where this is going? Oh, I so love eBay….. Yes, I’ve found the carseat AND the matching isofix base and bidding starts at just 99p!

Now where can I store it for the next 9+ months? Under the kitchen sink? In the cat basket? I think Charlie would find a kiddy car seat very comfy indeed (not sure ginger hairs on black fabric would look great though).

Or my ears, to be precise? Yesterday evening I had a nasty attack of head whooshiness and vertigo and went into full hysterical meltdown. Cue a prompt visit to the on-call doctor who could find nothing obviously wrong with me and advised me to see how I feel by Monday.

Well, this morning it happened again so sod waiting till bloody Monday. Nobby rang the surgery and managed to speak to the doctor who advised me to come off the metronidazole earlier this week. He suggested I might have something called benign positional vertigo (BPV) and invited me down to have a check-up.

I actually saw the nurse practitioner as the doctor wasn’t available but, fortunately, he’s a very nice chap. He made me do some head movements to fix the possible BPV, which seemed to help a little, but I think it was just wishful thinking as I was still feeling awful by the time I got home.  He thought it could also be a virus, so prescribed me a week’s course of betahistine which will apparently help the vertigo while the virus takes its course.

I took the first dose shortly after getting home and then had a nap for a couple of hours. Don’t know if I dare say it, but I am feeling slightly better. Still got the vertigo when I tilt my head, but the heavy, woolly feeling in my head has subsided. Perhaps after a full night’s sleep (and a second dose) I’ll feel even better.

I hate antibiotics. I can’t think of a single time when a course of them has done me any good and this week has proved no exception.

Last month, I went for a routine smear. While the nurse was fiddling around down there, she noticed some discharge and promptly did a swab. The results came back as the oh so beautifully-named bacterial vaginosis. Oh how I wished it was good old thrush.

I was prescribed a 7-day course of metronidazole. I’ve been on this drug a couple of years ago for the same thing (and I should note that it didn’t clear it up) so I wasn’t bothered about taking it. As I had just ovulated and was hoping I’d conceived, I decided to delay taking it until my period arrived. Despite the assurances from my GP that it’s safe to take during pregnancy, I wasn’t keen.

So, period arrived on schedule and off I went.  Day one went without a hitch. On day two I was leaning down while on the toilet (changing my pad if you must know) and I suddenly felt dizzy. I thought nothing more of it and took my morning dose.

I went for an afternoon nap and felt dizzy as I lay down. Actually, this was more than dizzy, the room began to spin. I shifted position and it went away. An hour or so later, I woke and rolled over to experience the same thing again. Spoke to best friend on the phone and was able to replicate it while talking to her. At this point I was feeling worried. I headed downstairs and realised I was feeling a bit spaced out.

I spent the next few hours panicking as I couldn’t get hold of Nobby at work for nearly an hour and the weird feeling in my head seemed to be getting worse. I spoke to two nurses who advised me to quit taking the meds and consult my GP in the morning.

The next day, the GP switched my prescription to clindamycin, This is an antibiotic cream which I have to insert into my you-know-what every night before bed. Not the most pleasant of procedures, but hopefully better than the nightmare that is metronidazole.

Unfortunately, even though it’s now been over 48 hours since stopping the bloody stuff I’m continuing to have vertigo and nausea. The spaced-out feeling is still loitering away in the background too. Oh, and because I’ve now had to start alternative antibiotics 5 days into my cycle, I may not finish the course in time to start TTC this month. Grrrrr……